Groom’s guide to Everything Wedding

The most important 4 words to use throughout the wedding process is…” How can I help?” Sooner or later stress will set in and by asking this question often can make a huge difference.

During The Planning

The early stages of wedding planning are important for you to be involved. The major things to agree on are:

The Budget – What to spend, where are funds coming from. Traditionally the Bride’s family has paid for the wedding and the Groom’s family covers the rehearsal dinner, in modern times anything goes nowadays.

Guest list-

  • Her side
  • His side
  • Their side
  • Starting # of guests (according to Venue size)
  • Work together to specify the number of guests. Keep in mind the capacity of the venue and “the cost per head” when determining a final number invited.

Venue – one you both like impacts so much of the wedding.

Overall vibes – Style that reflects facets of both personalities, such as casual, formal, or fancy.

If not working with a planner, tradition has the Groom in charge of the music and bar, however not combined to only these categories. Be a big support system. Go to appointments, listen, and give your opinion when necessary.

The Rehearsal Dinner –

The night before is not the same as a bachelor party, so limit the drinks and have fun. Waking up with a hangover is not advised or comfortable.

Working With Groomsmen

  • Pick someone that you are in close contact with now. The final group contains future friends and families including spouse’s siblings.
  • Asking your party 6-8 months before your wedding is the best time.
  • Send or give them a note and a gift asking them to participate.
  • Pick attire for you and your Groomsmen, whether renting or buying be conscious of the amount of money needed including tailoring.

Things To Do On The Wedding Day

  1. If picking a morning of activity, such as golf or brunch it is polite to invite your future father-in-law and close family members.
  2. Try and limit your liquor consumption until the reception.
  3. Also use this time to pay the vendors.
  4. The biggest responsibility is to have your men and yourself ready on time.

Groom’s Checklist For The Morning of

Here is a checklist to keep in mind.

  • Have an alarm to wake up to
  • Eat breakfast
  • Delight your soon to be bride with a gift or handwritten note
  • Put together your best look
  • Do not be afraid to say no when necessary
  • Stay hydrated, drink plenty of water leading up to the ceremony
  • Understand and familiarize yourself with the venue and schedule of the day
  • Address a thank you from you and your bride to your guests

The Wedding Night/Reception

The vows are over and now it is time to host your first party as husband and wife. Your only job is to let your guests know how delighted and grateful you and your bride are to have them there to celebrate. This can be done by circulating to the different tables one by one or giving a short speech at the end of all the speeches/toasts.

After The Wedding

  • Decide together on a honeymoon to-do-list prior, like you did with the wedding planning
  • Split up the thank you notes, you do your side, and she can do her side

The Best Man’s Duties

The role of the best man is being the groom’s right-hand man before, during, and after the wedding. He also is customarily in charge of planning the bachelor party. The best man often helps with organizing the other groomsmen. Helping the groom to pick out wedding attire, purchasing a gift for the groom, and planning the bachelor party. During the wedding, a best man traditionally holds the wedding rings, welcoming the guests to the ceremony and to make sure the other groomsmen are in their places at the appropriate times throughout the day.

The best man will lead with the first toast and make sure guests are enjoying themselves throughout the reception. The best man is there to give moral support to the groom as well, such as a pat on the back or keeping him focused with his head in the game.

The Rehearsal Dinner:
The rehearsal dinner is also a place to be as a best man, making a small toast to kick off dinner and the festivities to follow into the wedding the next day.

The Wedding Day:
The best man oversees settling the groomsmen into place and making sure they are always presentable. Serving as a witness when signing the marriage license may be required and the reception is kept moving by the best man’s hospitality as well.
The collecting of gifts may consist of the best man’s help too. Especially when it is time to transport to final spot away from the wedding venue.

After the Wedding:
He should make sure all rented clothing be intact and returned. This is important especially if the groom is off honeymooning.

Save this Groomsmen Guide! This is an easy step by step guide for the groomsmen to follow to make sure they know what there duties are.

Xo Rebecca

Grandmas As Flower Girls

We are no strangers to catchy new trends in the wedding industry, but this new trend is so heartwarming I hope it is here to stay. Grandmas as flower girls may sound a little strange at first, but if you are looking for a fun way to honor your grandma, this just might be it! This gesture could add a special touch to your wedding and will for sure be a crowd-pleaser.

One of our recent couples chose to do this with their grandmothers, and I thought it was so beautiful I had to share. What a fun idea, and trust me, grandma will eat it up!

Team Grandma!

A few elements that help with grandma being a part of the wedding party. With kids out of the picture, you don’t have to deal with crying and temper tantrums. It spares you from the anxiety that small children bring. Will they make it to their spot down the aisle? What parent will carry or accompany them? Can they mind their manners during the vowels? One thing is for sure; the cuteness factor will still be there with grandma, I promise!

What about Traditions?

Non-traditional has become more of a thing these days than traditional. It is different for every couple, but it makes your wedding unique and is a chance to represent you and your fiance’s vision of tradition. When it comes to thinking about these fun choices for your wedding, do what you want. If you want your grandma to be your flower girl, do it up! Hopefully, she adds a little character down the aisle to really ham up the moment.

Xo Rebecca

How To Find The Perfect Wedding Planner

Finding your perfect Wedding Planner is key to making all your wedding dreams come true. There are so many overwhelming factors that go into planning a wedding. With all the excitement that comes with this adventure you and your partner are about to embark on, you want to enjoy your day and leave all the stressful, not fun mumbo jumbo to the professionals. Trust me, I am speaking from experience! Since this is my area of expertise, I thought I would share essential tips to use when looking for your perfect planner.


When searching for your planner, make sure you choose someone that fits your style. Check out their website and social media platforms to see photos of past weddings they have worked on and see if they portray the vision you have for your big day. It’s okay to have a few consultations with different planners to make sure your personalities mesh, and you understand each other. You will be spending a lot of time with this person, and they will be a part of important intimate moments.


Hearing from other bride’s experiences is a great way to narrow down your right fit. Most wedding planners have testimonials on their websites or social media platforms. If they don’t have any shown, ask for some. Having confidence in who you are hiring is key.

Venue Recommendations

If you already have the location for your wedding, usually, they will have a list of all types of vendors, including wedding planners that they work with often. Asking the venue could be a place to start, and it’s nice to have someone familiar with the site.


Being upfront about your overall budget is very important. In your consultation, that should be one of the first questions the planner asks. A good wedding planner will be knowledgeable in all areas of budget planning. They will be able to stretch your budget to get the most out of what you want to spend.

Key Points To Keep In Mind

Keep an eye out for a design style that matches yours, read testimonials from past brides. There are different options when choosing your planning packages.

Popular terms for planning packages:
Full-service– the planner is with you through the entire process from start to finish.
Wedding Management – The planner is only there to help with all the final touches with your planning and coordination on your wedding day.

Now you have the tools to start searching for your wedding planner. This is such an exciting, memorable time, and I hope this helps you pick the PERFECT planner for you!

Happy Planning!

Xo Rebecca Calagna

Owner & Principal Planner- Rebecca Calagna Events

Wedding Glossary Terms

Wedding Glossary Terms

Applique- This is a term while dress shopping. Appliques are pieces of lace or other fabric creating a textured 3D effect.

Black Tie- A Black Tie affair will be indicated on the invitation. A typical Black Tie will take place after 6pm and men dress in tuxedos and women wear formal cocktail dresses or long, formal, evening gowns for the affair.

Black Tie Optional- Black Tie Optional means dressing slightly more casual, as in men wear suits and women can choose between long or short gowns.

Bustle- A tailoring trick, including loops, buttons or ribbons used to pull up and hold the train for easier movement.

Chuppah- A structure consisting of a cloth canopy and four poles used in Jewish wedding ceremonies.

Destination Wedding- A great way to share a favorite place with your guests. Any location that you or your guests will book a hotel at the end of the night. Usually ranging from an hour or two away to a different state or country.

Escort Cards- Cards placed at the entrance of the reception, directing a guest to their assigned table. A single sign with information is also an option to direct guests.

First Look- A chance for you and your significant other to discover your big-day attire and spend time together before the ceremony.

First Look Wedding Photo

Fondant- An edible sugary dough used to give cakes a smooth and sleek exterior.

Golden Hour- A favorite time for photographs is just before sunset according to photographers. The soft lighting is perfect for post-ceremony portraits.

Head Table- This table is larger and reserved for the wedding party including the Bride and groom, and/or their families.

Sweetheart Table- A small table that accommodates the bride and groom only.

In-House Catering- This type of catering is food and beverage handled by the venue versus an outside catering vendor.
Invitation Suite- An invitation suite is everything the guest needs to know about your wedding. This package usually includes a save the date, invitation, and RSVP Card, most times also feature directions to the wedding and reception venue.

Open Bar- A full bar including beer, wine, and liquor is offered to guests. This is the most expensive option to serve liquor, so other budget creativity is welcomed.

Place card- A card with the guest’s name telling them exactly where to sit after arriving at their specific table.

Guest Table Place Cards

Plus One- A plus one give the wedding guest the opportunity to invite a date or another person.

Queen Ann Neckline- A neckline flattering the face. This neckline is supporte3d by a high back with sleeves, showing off the collarbone, a beautiful compromise showing a modest amount of skin.

Rehearsal Dinner- A pre-wedding event taking place after the wedding rehearsal. This dinner includes the wedding couple along with their wedding party, and immediate members of their families. The guest list for this dinner is not closed and the couple often invite other guests too.

Recessional- The music played at the couple’s final exit.

Trial- A chance to visualize your wedding day look. Common trials include hair and makeup, or florists. Often other vendors will offer glances into their services also.

Vendor- A wedding professional who provides a service or product to someone hosting a wedding, such as music DJs, florist, photographer, and make-up/hair stylists.

Yichud (Jewish)- A secluded time the wedding couple spends together immediately following the ceremony. A time to reflect on their upcoming life together, etc., just before joining the guests for the reception and a time to celebrate.

Walk Through- A venue tour. There are two types of walk-throughs; the first is to tour the venue, ask questions before signing a contract, and reserve a date. Before the wedding day, the other tour is an opportunity to fine-tune your space and vision for the day.

Wedding Planner- An individual who coordinates your wedding from start to finish, such as RCA. This individual professionally plans your wedding from pre-planning to running the show on your day.

Rebbecca Calagna lets get planning

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So You Want To Be A Wedding Planner?

So you want to become a Wedding Planner? Think long and hard about this decision because it is not glitz and glamour or playing with pretty things and flowers all day long. It is a tough job. You might have just rolled your eyes and thought, “Yah, right, Rebecca!” but let me explain. In reality, planning a wedding takes a ton of time, energy, and stress. Wedding Planning is always on the list of the Top 5 most stressful jobs around the World, and experts say that it takes over 400 hours to plan a Wedding. Now, remember, in order to have a successful business, you are planning MANY, MANY weddings at the same time. 

When someone hires a “wedding planner,” They are hiring an expert who wears many hats—one of them being a counselor or family mediator. You have to be willing to help sort out wedding-related problems while keeping all parties happy, involved, feeling heard, and loved. We are therapists, secretaries, fixers of all things, designers, actors, magicians, accountants, project managers, fashion stylists, mediators, seamstresses, financial advisors, referees, communications directors, general contractors, customer service experts, travel agent, etiquette expert, and extreme multi-tasker. 

Here are some of the duties you might not have considered a Wedding Planner does: 

  • Schedule client meetings for them
  • Vendor communication and liaison
  • Meetings and Consultations
  • Etiquette advisement
  • RSVP tracking
  • Bride/Groom Reminders
  • Managing unruly guests
  • Sending invitations
  • Creating wedding websites
  • Vendor confirmations 
  • Wedding day schedule/timelines
  • Ceremony coordination/rehearsal
  • Overseeing soundcheck
  • Vetting potential vendors
  • Wedding day coordination
  • Reviewing contracts
  • Site tours and tastings
  • Oversee rentals and decor
  • Family mediator
  • Expert advice-giver in all things weddings
  • Pin on boutonnieres 
  • Sew dress mishaps 
  • Coordinate bride, groom, family, guests, and vendors 
  • Coordinate grand exit
  • Load/Unload heavy items 
  • Move items from location to location
  • Steam a dress
  • Make sure everything is set up correctly – be the visionary and the detail person
  • Remain level headed and calm
  • Run errands for forgotten items
  • Always be prepared with a backup plan – think quick on your feet
  • Double-check others work

Is Wedding Planning Your Passion?

The moral of the story here is, do not embark on a Wedding Planning career unless you are absolutely passionate about it. If you are not passionate about it, the job can leave you overwhelmed and burnt out very quickly. I will leave you with this article from Planner’s Lounge: 12 reasons NOT to become a Wedding Planner. 

With all that being said and I didn’t scare you off quite yet, please contact me regarding The RC Plan, Wedding Planning Mentorship program! 

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